Why Setting Boundaries Upsets People: A Guide to Maintaining Your Limits
Spoiler alert! People usually get offended when you set boundaries with them because they don’t have healthy boundaries themselves!! That means if you’re getting offended when other people set limits with you, you probably don’t have healthy boundaries. ☹️
It could also be the case that they get offended because you’ve decided to no longer accommodate them and make their lives easier while making yours more difficult.
Here’s an example of someone getting offended by my boundary.
In this particular case, I chose to explain my boundary, but I don’t always do that. You don’t have to do that either unless you CHOOSE to.
When we start to set boundaries with people we’ve never set them with before, some will get upset by it. That could be because it’s new behavior, and difficult when someone suddenly changes. But often people get upset when we set boundaries because they don’t have healthy boundaries.
When we set a boundary with someone we have a relationship with, we’re differentiating ourselves from them as opposed to being enmeshed with them. Now, you’re distinct from them, and they’re distinct from you. Your pattern of interaction is now distinct from what it used to be. That can sometimes be painful to us and others when…
