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Why It’s None of Your Business What Others Think of You

Barb Nangle
4 min readJan 4, 2024

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Photo Credit: Dayne Topkin

When I first heard the saying, “It’s none of your business what other people think of you”, I had no idea what that meant. I seriously couldn’t wrap my mind around it. Every time I thought about that saying, it just baffled me.

I now know it baffled me because of my codependence, which meant I was super focused on what others thought of me. That was outside my awareness though, which explains why this statement was so baffling.

Early in my recovery, I heard a speaker say, “It’s none of your business what other people think of you. What is your business is what you think of you.” WOW!! That was mind-boggling. I hadn’t really considered what I thought of myself.

This was one of many things in recovery that helped me understand that I was so focused on others’ opinions of me and getting their approval. I had no idea that was true about me. In fact, when I first heard the term “people-pleaser” I didn’t think it referred to me. For an introspective person who’s been on a personal growth journey since age 24, that’s pretty astonishing, but oh so true!

Being so focused on getting others’ approval meant that if there was the slightest hint I didn’t have someone’s approval, I made it mean that there was something bad or wrong with me. Then I’d make it my mission to try to get them…

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Barb Nangle
Barb Nangle

Written by Barb Nangle

I’m a boundaries coach who works with women who focus on what others think and neglect themselves. I've coached hundreds using my exclusive BUILD framework.

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