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Why Intimate Relationships Have Eluded You and How to Get Them
Intense relationships can sometimes be mistaken for “intimate” relationships, but they’re not. Intense relationships are often dysfunctional and chaotic. Emotionally intimate relationships are typically not. If you want true intimacy, it requires being vulnerable, which requires trust. We can only build trust over time through seeing patterns of behavior.
It’s possible to learn how to get away from intense relationships. It’s also possible to build intimate relationships even if you’ve never had one. I’m living proof! I’ve been in 29 relationships, 11 of which I considered to be boyfriends. I’ve been in love eight times and have cohabitated with five partners. Until my current relationship of two years, I’ve never had an intimate romantic relationship. I credit 12-step recovery with my ability to create that intimacy. I simply wasn’t capable of intimacy before that. Here’s what I’ve learned about intensity, intimacy and trust.
A brief summary of my relationships.
I had a string of romantic relationships. Some lasted months, several lasted years, but none of them included real emotional intimacy. There were some that were rather intense, especially in my younger years when I drank and smoked weed heavily. As I aged, there wasn’t so much intensity, but there still wasn’t any still intimacy.
