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The Power of Intention: Why It Matters as Much as Impact

Barb Nangle
3 min readDec 20, 2024

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Photo Credit: Abi Ismail

Most of us have heard by now that there’s a difference between our intentions and the impact of our behavior. If you break someone’s leg because you were trying to help them move a ladder, they don’t really care that you were “just trying to help.” They only care that their leg is broken!

People don’t care what your intentions are, they care about the impact of your behavior. That is, they care about the result that you’ve created in their life. However, your intentions make all the difference in the world to you. Your intentions determine the type of energy you bring to whatever it is you’re doing. That impacts you psychologically and emotionally. Intentions are very similar to motives, and our motives matter enormously.

In other words, there’s a difference between the external impact of your behavior (broken leg) and the internal impact (trying to help from a place of caring).

Here’s an example of motives from my people-pleasing years. Until I got into recovery, I didn’t understand that my people-pleasing behaviors were about trying to control and manipulate others. I was trying to control what they thought of me by manipulating them into being pleased with me. Sometimes I was trying to be helpful so things would go my way. My underlying motive was to manipulate and control outcomes and/or…

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Barb Nangle
Barb Nangle

Written by Barb Nangle

I’m a boundaries coach who works with women who focus on what others think and neglect themselves. I've coached hundreds using my exclusive BUILD framework.

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