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The Art of Letting Go: How to Unhook from Unconscious Expectations
Part 5 of 5: Overcoming Unrealistic Expectations
Now that we’re on my 5th essay about overcoming unrealistic expectations you might be thinking, “I’m starting to understand how to not have expectations ahead of time, but what if I’m still resentful because of an expectation I had in the past?” Good news! You can get rid of your expectations after the fact.
If you’re like me, it might be that you don’t even realize you had an expectation until that expectation doesn’t get met. That is, you didn’t even know that you had an expectation until you get upset and realize it after the fact. Maybe it was so subconscious that you weren’t even aware of it.
Here’s how I let go of my expectations after the fact: as soon as I realize I had an expectation, I “unhook” from that expectation (at least that’s what I call it). I retroactively let go of that expectation by looking at the situation and thinking to myself, “Oh, I had an expectation, and that’s why I’m upset.” Here are three examples.
When I said “I love you” to someone and they didn’t say it back, I got upset. When I looked at that, I realized I had an unconscious expectation of that person saying “I love you” back.
