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Integrity Check: Are Your Intentions Aligned with Your Actions?
Your Intentions should matter to YOU because they impact your integrity. But they DON’T matter to others if the impact of your behavior on them is negative.
Why your intentions matter to you.
Let’s say you’re doing something because you want someone to like you versus doing the same exact thing because you want to be kind and good. The impact on your integrity will differ based on your intent.
Running errands for someone just to make them like you chips away at your integrity. Why? Because you’re trying to manipulate their opinion of you. Yeah, I know — it sucks to learn that, doesn’t it?! I felt the same way when that was pointed out to me. Keep in mind, this is info, not ammo (i.e., information to grow from, not ammunition to beat yourself up).
When you run errands for someone so they’ll like you, your intention is to get them to think a certain thing about you. Your intention is not to be good and kind. You may TELL yourself you’re just trying to be nice (which is what I used to tell myself and others) but that’s not what’s going on. I was trying to manipulate their opinion of me. I wasn’t aware of that until I got into recovery, but that’s what had been going on for decades.
