Free Yourself from Years of Resentment — Why and How to Forgive

Forgiveness allows us to release years of pent up resentment (photo credit: Gabriel Benois)

Many people carry resentment and anger toward others they could get rid of if they learned to forgive. But there isn’t a lot of information out there about how to forgive. Most of the information I came across in my years of trying to forgive was on why to forgive. I also had a lot of misconceptions about what forgiveness is and is not, maybe you do too. Those misconceptions often get in the way of our forgiveness of others.

I eventually learned that forgiveness is all about compassion. You might be resistant to the idea of having compassion for someone who did you wrong. That’s completely understandable. In fact, learning compassion for them can be the hardest part of the forgiveness process.

In this essay, I’ll talk about what forgiveness actually is and how it works. I’ll share the misconceptions I overcame about forgiveness, which might help you too. Then I’ll share some methods for cultivating compassion which I learned in 12 step recovery.

All these components are part of the process of forgiveness. I’ll share a little bit about my story of forgiveness at the beginning and at the end of this essay. My hope is that you’ll come away from this having a better understanding of forgiveness. You’ll also have concrete tools for how to forgive someone so you can be free of the burden of…