Managing our thoughts and our minds is the most powerful way to change our lives. We’ve been taught what to think and why, but not really how to think. When we let our mind go on autopilot, the results can be disastrous. In this article, I illustrate several ways for…
Many of us decide what things mean without all the information. Then we use unconscious filters to fill in the gaps to decide what they mean. That is, we make assumptions about what things mean. For example:
· it’s about me, not about them
· it means something negative, not something…
You don’t have to believe what’s going through your head.
If you think things like,
“I’m never gonna figure this out” or
“Oh my God! I’m such a f***ing loser!” or
“I’m the worst piece of s*** in the world”
you don’t have to believe them!
I’ll explain why in…
That used to be my life. I was the kind of person who’d go out of my way to help other people.
I’d drop what I was doing to help someone out. Eventually, they’d start taking…
This quarantine can be particularly stressful on relationships. Maybe you’re living in close quarters with others. Or you’re only relating to people at a distance — or it’s the stress of these crazy times. …
Being enmeshed means that you’re so connected to your family or another person that you don’t know where you end and they begin. Getting out of enmeshment requires that you set boundaries around your life. This enables you to take care of yourself, rather than taking care of others.
Enmeshed…
If you’ve been on a journey of self-discovery for years and are wondering, “Is this all there is?” I get it. If you’ve gotten temporary relief from acute emotional pain, but the pain keeps coming back and you’re wondering, “why does this keep happening?” I get that too. That was…
Intense relationships can sometimes be mistaken for “intimate” relationships, but they’re not. Intense relationships are often dysfunctional and chaotic. Emotionally intimate relationships are typically not. If you want true intimacy, it requires being vulnerable, which requires trust. We can only build trust over time through seeing patterns of behavior.
It’s…
Many people carry resentment and anger toward others they could get rid of if they learned to forgive. But there isn’t a lot of information out there about how to forgive. Most of the information I came across in my years of trying to forgive was on why to forgive…
Maybe you know something needs to change, but don’t know what. You’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work, at least not long-term. That was me before 12 step recovery. I’ve learned to do something that has improved my life drastically, including in my relationships and work:
Keeping the focus…
Host of the podcast, “Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery" who writes, speaks and coaches about healing & growth. HigherPowerCC.com
